I'm not always very practical. Especially when it comes to how much I stretch myself with others. Or more to the point, on how much I want to stretch myself.
I'm a people pleaser and if it were humanly possible I would just go out in life and help everyone! But that's simply not possible. Many times I don't have the financial means to do much more than keep up with my own financial obligations.
And even with money matters aside, I don't always have the physical or emotional strength to help everyone I know who needs help. Many times in the past I would get really down about that. I use to feel guilty for not helping others even when I was pushing myself more than I should. And invariably that would always lead to burn-out.
And I would travel this cycle of helping others at my expense and then feeling guilty about needing time for myself. Sometimes I still struggle with this.
But recently God is showing me that I have to be careful with this. It may be that my spiritual gift is to serve but I am human. I can only serve people one-at-a-time. For those that I cannot reach today I can certainly pray for.
And prayer shouldn't be something one does as a last ditch effort. It is very powerful! We should be praying for others every day. But I didn't always believe that my little prayers could do much for anyone. So God put it on my heart to start keeping track of my prayer requests.
I have a prayer journal that I go back and review. And for times when I really want to see how God answers my prayers, I write the requests down with a date. And He answers them! Not always right away or even in the way I thought He would answer. But He does answer.
Anyway, God has also been teaching me that when I worry about others it is giving myself too much credit. So I couldn't help so-and-so today. Well... the world keeps turning and the sun and moon keep shining. God has those individuals in His care. I need to learn to let go and relax.
That can be really hard for someone like me. It all really comes down to trusting God. And trusting Him can be difficult. We want to believe at times that we are in control of our lives. We want to believe that our choices are what determine where we end up in the future and who our lives impact. But none of that is true.
God is in control of everything and even though we experience free will we don't get the ultimate say in our destiny. Looking back over my life I can see how God was orchestrating events to lead me to where I am today. He uses everything that happens to us and everyone we meet to shape us into who we were meant to be! Its amazing!
So, I may not be a very practical gal but by God's grace I am becoming one.
" Be still, and know that I am God! I will be honored by every nation.
I will be honored throughout the world." ~ Psalm 46:10
Lord, help me when I put too much on my own shoulders.
Help me see myself as I really am.
Continue to reveal your mercy and wisdom to my heart
and guide all my ways in life so that I remain useful to your purposes.
Thank you for all that you are doing and all that you will do in my life.