Today I was dusting around the house and I paused when I came to a porcelain figurine of Snow White. In her delicate little hands she holds an apple and she stares at it longingly. It is the moment before she eats the poisoned apple. And I was hit with a realization. This is exactly what its like to be me right now.
I work in an environment where I am surrounded by women my age or younger who are married and are either pregnant or are raising young children. As a single woman it can be very difficult sometimes to see their gorgeous babies and listen to them talk about their adoring husbands when I have neither.
Sometimes I wonder if I did something wrong to have never captured the attention of an eligible young man. I used to think it would happen during my years in university. Actually, I'm still in university just not as a student. But my prince never came and I had to move on.
And for many years I thought I was the only young lady around who was in the awkward situation I found myself in. But I was wrong. In the past year I have met several young women just like me. We have all remained faithful to God and have had to continue with our careers. And just like me, they too have friends and family all around them getting married or having children and wondering why we don't "just get married" too.
The truth is that ladies like me don't have an answer for all the questions. We simply don't know why we are still single. And to believe that we somehow did something wrong to wreck our lives gives us too much credit. Ultimately, God is in control even when we don't understand why life goes the way it does. And I know that God is more powerful than our greatest failures, so that argument doesn't work.
If remaining single is the plan God has for my life then I must learn to accept it and help as many people as I possibly can. I should be exhausted by the end of each day, not from raising children, but from doing good works. I should be using every conversation to encourage and uplift those around me and never allow a bitter word or frustrated sigh past my lips.
And I should see all the good and beautiful things God has given me rather than the things I don't have. But sometimes, just like Snow White, I look at the poisoned apple and wonder if life wouldn't be better if I just took one bite.
But I know where that bite landed Snow White and where the bite Eve took in the garden landed all of us. Satan hits below the belt. When I'm weak that's when I need God more. So I keep trusting him even when its so difficult to do some days. I know He sees my tears and hears my prayers and He's been showing me that I'm not the only one.
God hasn't forgotten me and He isn't punishing me. Maybe He just wants me all for Himself. I'm learning to let him take the poisoned apple away. May His will be done in my life regardless of what anyone wonders about me or even what I wonder about my life.