November 16, 2009
City of Light
Have you ever had a dream that seemed so real that you still remembered it, hours, days, weeks afterwards?
I did. I had an amazing dream and its memory is still vivid in my mind months later!
I dreamt that I was in a beautiful city and there was light everywhere. It was as if the sun was in the city where everyone walked. It was so bright. And as I walked I noticed everyone stopped to talk to someone... and as I stepped closer I realized it was Jesus. And I was filled with awe, excitement, and nervousness all at the same time. I didn't know what to say to him and I didn't feel worthy to take up his time.
I saw him speaking to other people and he was very kind and patient and he seemed to enjoy talking to them as much as they desired to speak with him. And I wished that I could talk to him too. I desperately wanted to tell him everything that was on my heart but I didn't know how. And just before he turned around, so that we would be face-to-face... I woke up.
But the impression of that dream has haunted me, I mean that in the best way possible, ever since. I was left feeling that my desire to know God, to love Jesus more deeply, is reciprocated. I am only starting to understand how deeply personal God is. I am only beginning to realize how deeply Jesus loves me and desires a relationship as much as I do.
That dream shocked me to my core because it helped me understand what the Bible means when it says that God sent his only and beloved son to die for me. And I know Jesus loves me because it was he who promised Adam and Eve redemption after the tragedy of sin. He made the choice in that instant to save us... to save me.
All my life, growing up in church, I was taught that Jesus is holy and that he is the greatest teacher and savior. And that was all well and good but those descriptions of him left something out. I felt that I was missing something important. Jesus is God, yes. But he was also man. He understands temptation, grief, fear, loneliness... everything because he experienced life as we do.
And I didn't truly begin to understand his humanity until I purposely started searching for a clearer picture of who Jesus is to me. I needed a personal perspective of God. Not something a church taught me, or something anyone told me but something I discovered for myself.
Daniel 2:22 " He reveals deep and hidden things; he knows what lies in darkness, and light dwells with him."
My journey is still ongoing but the Bible has answered so many of my questions and is such a phenomenal source of encouragement to me that I don't ever want to stop growing in my understanding and yearning for more. I hope one day to finally see the face of Jesus. I hope that on that day I will be able to thank him for not giving up on me... for literally dying for me. All so that I can be with him in that beautiful city of light.
Revelation 22:5 " There will be no more night. They will not need the light of a lamp or the light of the sun, for the Lord God will give them light."